December 22, 2008
Relationship Information Online And Its Value
Starting sometime in the nineteen fifties, television sitcoms started milking what has now become a pretty standard plot. It is the one where one spouse thinks the other is out fooling around but in the end it turns out to be nothing more than a series of misunderstandings. "You saw me with that woman because she is a mink coat wholesaler." Eventually all is forgiven. The jealous spouse apologizes for jumping to conclusions and for not trusting their partner. True love triumphs and all is right with the world. Read here for more Free Relationship Advice
There are all kinds of instances when we can feel jealousy. Perhaps you are at the bar and you see your boyfriend talking to another woman. Or maybe your date is openly staring at a beautiful girl across the room. Maybe he even cheated on you and you found out.
Jealousy is certainly a horrible emotion - it has pain, anger, fear, revulsion and even guilt mixed into it sometimes. And that is regardless of whether the jealousy is founded or unfounded. You can't help it, it is just THERE and eating away at you.
There seem to be two different kinds of jealousy, too. One type of jealousy is jealousy that is founded in reason. The other kind is unwarranted. Unwarranted jealousy is being jealous over something like your husband mentioning some even years ago that happened with his ex-girlfriend, or some woman hitting on HIM at the bar.
The reasonable kind of jealousy - for you - is a sign that something is not right in your relationship. When you feel jealousy over him cheating on you - that is of course completely normal. But what it is screaming at you is that you have something HUGE in your relationship that you and your beau need to work on with each other. If he won't work on it WITH you - then you need to walk away.
Essentially what those feelings mean is that you are ANGRY that he is not treating you right. His treatment of you and your own self integrity are at war with each other. And if he is treating you in a way that makes your own integrity have to compete with something else - then he is NOT good enough for you.
Now the second kind of jealousy is jealousy about things in the past, or inconsequential things. First of all - EVERYONE HAS A PAST. Including you. If you are jealous over things that happened in the past with your man, then that is a problem YOU need to work on and get rid of.
In cases like this, your emotions are sending up a signal to your brain that all is not well within you. These are signs of emotional insecurity and fear. This is when you need to stop what you are doing and take a look inside to see what the true root of this jealousy is. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are acting defensively, or perhaps you are afraid of the unknown.
Sometimes, women even get jealous about things that have not even occurred. Say for instance you see your man talking to a co-worker at a party and they are laughing and having a good time. This is another emotional response to fear and insecurity. You need to look at what HE is doing and tell yourself, "It IS what it IS. Nothing."
The relationship is an investment in time and emotion. Because of this, you should take advantage of the time you spend together and, in a constructive way, come to terms with why the problems are occurring.
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